Laughing All the Way

"It's hard to spend energy on fear armed with His goodness and truth"

-Sarah Kay Ndjerareou

You know that your friend has writing in her veins when you quote words from a recent group text message she sent!  Good company I keep I can assure you.  Sarah is no stranger to heartache as you could find in her published memoir entitled Pieces of Glass: A Moment of Tragedy, A Lifetime of Faith.  Even the more reason to find her words so wise.  When you find someone who has walked super ugly life and can undeniably find their Savior's goodness and truth, you should listen.  

My favorite part of Proverbs 31 is verse 25 that says:

...she laughs at the time to come.

Do you find yourself laughing at the future to come or do you think of it slightly with fear and worry?  Throughout my life, I have definitely bent towards the latter.  I mean we are promised suffering and no one looks forward to that.  However, after years of watching the Lord's goodness and faithfulness come through even in the suffering, suddenly the fear begins to lose its grip.  The Proverbs 31 woman gets it.  She can laugh at what's to come because she knows she will step into it with Jesus.  My friend, Sarah, gets it.  She doesn't spend energy on fear because she steps with the reminders of all His goodness and truth from His flawless track record.

May we all be a little more Proverbs 31:25...May we all be a little more Sarah Ndjerareou...May we all be a little more like Jesus.

Happy Big Birthday, Sarah.  Thanks for gifting me the perfect spirit-led words on your birthday.

Relationship Status

Through my various Biblical counseling experiences, one of the places I find as common among my sisters is the "Jesus Relationship Struggle" as I like to call it.  We find ourselves going to church, Bible studies, community groups, heck even faithfully reading the Bible, yet we can't find that bond...that connection with the Jesus we think we are hotly pursuing.  It is almost shocking how common this is.

I once heard a sermon where the preacher talked about how social media these days makes us feel like we can know anyone.  We can pretty much follow any celebrity of our choice on Instagram or Facebook.  We can know what they do everyday, when they delivered a baby, and even what they ate for dinner.  We can read all about them.  But in the end, we don't actually know them.  We aren't really in a deep relationship with them.  We just know a lot about their personal life.

If we aren't careful, this is exactly what our relationship with our Savior can look like.  The difference is, unlike those celebrities who have no desire to know us, this Lord of ours actually really wants a relationship with us.  He doesn't want us to spend all of our time just reading about Him...He wants us to truly KNOW Him.  Now don't hear me wrong, it is still good to learn and read all about Him, but that's not all there is to this relationship.  My mom can read all about my life on my blogs and see all the pictures of everything I've been up to, but she wants to talk to me.  Following me on social media wouldn't be enough.  And the same is true for our Heavenly Father.

Now the question is, how do we grow a relationship with our God who we can only interact with on a spiritual level.  I can't pick up my actual phone and give him a call or schedule a coffee date.  True...not in the physical sense, but there are so many ways the Lord makes himself known to us.  Some of us can feel close to the Lord just in reading His word, but for others it might be a time of praying out loud after reading that scripture or pouring out our heart through worship.  For me, I am a journaler.  I put pen to paper and lay all my praise and worry and anger and fear and shame all out before Him...and I leave that journal feeling like I just had a heart to heart with my God.  And vulnerability fosters relationship, so don't hold back...He already knows your real heart anyway.

What is it for you?  What in addition to your Bible reading draws you closer to Him relationally?  I totally understand the empty space that many "Christian" ladies can't seem to fill because they are doing all the outward steps, but the inward relationship is lacking.  How frustrating it is to think you are doing all the right things and still feel like you aren't getting it.  Oh ladies, go find Jesus.  Try out a few different prayer methods and open the lines of communication to the One whose conversation matters the most.

Oily Grace

Recently, while in the process of curling my ever-straight hair, I burned my thumb...worse than the normal graze of the iron.  I was actually mindlessly thinking during this task as one does, but I began to spiral down into some thoughts that were not going to do anybody any favors.  After flirting with these seemingly meaningless thoughts for a few minutes, my thumb lay directly on the 400 degree metal for much longer than I thought my brain should have allowed.  Amidst the singe, my first thought was, "If you play with fire, you will get burned!"  This was in direct connection with the fact that I was allowing myself to spiral into unhealthy thoughts.  And listen, I don't know if the Lord allowed me to burn my finger to prove a point, but I was snapped back in my place real quick.

Another thought that went through my mind at this exact same time, was a story a friend had posted on Insta earlier in the day.  She had burned her tongue and was talking about using lavender oil to help heal it.  I'm not insanely oily, but I will gladly give anything a shot especially if it smells good.  Because I am not super oily, I don't usually pay close attention to these kind of stories, but for some reason this morning, I tucked this tip into my brain.  I don't have many oils on stock, but lavender happens to be one that I do have.  I put some on a band-aid and nursed my thumb.  Long story short, it actually really did help!  I was pleased to have my thumb back in quick working order when I thought a blister was surely in my future.

Surely this story isn't a plug for lavender oil?...it isn't.  This story is about the character of my good Savior.  You see, I had allowed myself to go down into thoughts that could take me to a sinful place.  Being the omniscient God that He is, He already knew how this story was going to play out.  He knew I would sin.  And even in knowing that I would sin and would reap a consequence I surely deserved; He planted a cure He knew I would need much earlier that morning.  That's the kind of dad He is.  Already knowing the depravity of our heart, the betrayal in our veins, the full blown sinner of our being; He plans a remedy, a cure, a healing ointment.  He could have let me feel all the sting of the burn I inflicted upon myself, but instead, I got a tangible visual of grace...His grace.  Soak that in, sisters...He's a really good Abba.

The Wedge

The wedge...something inserted to draw things apart.  Every relationship, at some point, started with two people on the same team.  They may have been rooting and fighting for all the wrong things, but on the same team nonetheless.  Then, suddenly, something changes.  A wedge of some sort creeps in.  It could be early on in the relationship or years later, but inevitably at some point, a separation stirs.

It usually stems from some sort of pride which then leads to disagreement about life, parenting, money...you name it.  Whatever it is, two different teams emerge amongst the dissension and they find it hard to coexist.  Lately, I've been reminded of a common wedge that is hard to navigate.  This wedge begins when one member of the relationship has an encounter with Jesus.  Maybe they've always known Him, but have spent years ignoring or pushing Him to the side.  After patiently waiting, the Lord has resurfaced pouring His grace and redeeming way of life out over this prodigal child.  Or, maybe they just met Him for the first time.  Either way, this individual is ready to surrender to this Savior.

Unfortunately, the other member of this relationship, isn't sold out.  They don't know their spouse as a follower of Christ forsaking the former way.  They are totally fine soaking up their sin-filled life, and as a matter of fact, it is increasingly annoying for this former teammate to be making them feel guilty about life they used to partake in together.  At this point pride and resentment creep in, and even if this new life could have some pro's, they aren't even going to pretend to give it a chance simply to prove their point.

This type of wedge can happen to anyone, but it is extremely common among my sisters, who not unlike me, went missionary dating or knowingly married someone based solely on physical attraction.  Always thinking we would be worth changing for or that we could "share our faith" with them.  After the new honeymoon phase and maybe a couple of little ones added to the space, it just isn't what we thought it would be.  The factor that can make this even more confusing is that they may not be that bad of a guy.  Just because they aren't a Christian doesn't automatically mean that they are abusive or unfaithful...but on different teams nonetheless.

Many of us rediscover Christ in this moment when the human we put in His intended place falls far from the pedestal we had hoped he could rule well.  And then, we have expectations for our surrendering.  We chose to change our life for Christ, so we hope that means He will make everything easy.  We certainly aren't expecting to be persecuted in our own home.  But, we are forgetting the sin that we openly invited in...that we entangled ourselves with so deeply.  The Lord is completely able to make this new, but when you dig a hole so massive, it takes time for repair and rescue to come so completely.  And, your Savior will not except anything less.

So, what is your play?  Obviously the Lord wants your heart with or without your husband's, but what if having a relationship with Jesus damages your relationship with your spouse?  Throw in the towel on God to have some peaceable years here on earth?  Ummm, no.  Remember, you will stand before your Savior one day...only you and your sins...not with your parents, or your kids, or your spouse.  Getting right with Jesus is your responsibility and your joy.  Now, as you walk with Him, you will find His guidance in the Word and convictions in your heart along the way.  The Bible is not silent on being married to someone who doesn't surrender to Christ.  It is clear in 1 Peter 3:1-2:

...so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

It is so very tempting to hold a mirror in front of their life and every decision to show them how wrong they are, but it will do you absolutely no good.  They have no ears to hear this from you.  Show them who Christ is by imitating his shameless love even when...no scratch that...especially when you are disappointed in them.  Let the Lord stand firmly as your spiritual leader when you are sad that your spouse refuses and keep begging and believing for the Lord to perform the miracle of saving them.  Don't be scared of it being ugly or drastic...your foreman is really good at what He does.

Crazy Faith in 2020

2020 might require you to have "Crazy Faith". As a matter of fact, I hope it does.