The Two Sides of a Valuable Coin

Nothing can crush a female's image of themselves more quickly and thoroughly as the devastation of an affair.  And man, it is so very true...brutally personal.  No matter how inaccurate the feeling, it seems to be a tangible, outward result of what we believe to be proof that in some way we weren't good enough...not pretty enough, not funny enough, not supportive enough.  We believe the effect of our lacking was the searching of another woman who was pretty, funny, and supportive enough.

The thing is that "other woman" is also grappling with her self image.  She is not some other perfect version of yourself.  She is grasping for affection and attention that she hasn't found because of the same insecurities...not pretty enough, not funny enough, not supportive enough.  She is even willing to be kept a secret or play second fiddle to keep getting the affirmation she needs.  She has her own bank of weaknesses that she is so very aware of.  Even if it seems in the moment, she won...she is losing.  No woman wants her love story to have started as an adulterous affair. 

Both of these women are wrong.  For the faithful wife, the fault of the affair is completely not on you. It was actually a tangible, outward result of a depraved heart, rot with sin.  A heart looking to please self and escape reality at all cost.  It happens to the most beautiful, most successful, most doting of wives.  No matter how much the unfaithful spouse would like to blame-shift, there is no behavior that can excuse unfaithfulness.  Their issue is their own sin they chose to let blossom in their heart and lives.  Most importantly, your value was never determined by your beautiful features or great personality.  It was certainly not determined by the faithfulness of your husband.

For the other woman, you do not have to settle for being someone's lust object.  If you are married yourself, the Lord can redeem the man you believe to be a lost cause.  You can trust the Lord for a relationship that is not built on secrets and lies.  Most importantly, your value was never determined by earning the affection of a man.  You will not find your value here...even if he leaves his wife for you. 

It's at this point when you expect me to say something about your value being completely in the Lord.  You are awesome because your Savior made you and that's all that matters.  Hear me now though, ladies, the Lord absolutely delights in you.   You, as a human, are the only creature that was made in His image.  Your actual only value is that you were created by the Almighty God and you are His image bearer.  And, you were created to bring glory to HIM.  You have not been put on this earth to find a way to glorify yourself or your life.  We don't use our Redeemer as a way to make us feel good about ourselves.  We are to spend our lives finding ways to glorify Him and yes, because in this act, we are fulfilling what we were created to do, we find true joy...this is where we find value!  Our value is in our purpose being fulfilled.  Our purpose is to glorify God...not to glorify ourselves, not to glorify our children, not to glorify our friends, or even especially not to glorify a man.

Oh ladies on both sides of this coin, when you feel like your circumstances have deleted your value.  Remember your purpose, and go find a way to glorify your Savior.  Watch as the spotlight returns to its intended place how utterly valuable you are to the King...suddenly nothing else matters.

...everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. 
Isaiah 43:7

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering and come before Him! Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness...
1 Chronicles 16:29

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31