This is the second part of the article "The Two Sides of a Valuable Coin". Follow the link to read the first part.
In keeping with the same vein of self image this week, there are some concrete things we, as women, do to physically make ourselves feel better. This doesn't have to be in the face of either side of infidelity, but it is certainly common for it to rear its head during such a time.
On a normal, difficult day, a woman might go get her nails done, get the hair refreshed, and maybe do a little shopping...just a little boost for the morale. But, in the light of betrayal, many women take a physical reboot to the extreme. We get in the mindset of "I'll show him" or "I'll make him chose me". All of a sudden, all modesty and regard for the Lord fly out the window at our own attempt to regain our value by physical means.
Suddenly, we find ourselves running around flaunting our body hoping to catch the attention of that one broken sinner who caused this pain not considering the struggle of other women's husbands around us left to cover their eyes from our feeble attempt to rescue our dignity. All the while, feeding the lustful monster in our own unfaithful spouse we are hoping so desperately will die.
Now let's pour truth all over this.
From the wife betrayed's perspective, this has everything to do with our pride. When we say our self image has been damaged, the truth is it is our pride that has been scorned. "How dare he do this to me!" We don't trust the Lord to protect us or heal us in the light of this life explosion and we therefore take it into our own hands. "I will make me feel better!" Unfortunately, this never works...not permanently anyway. As a matter of fact, the look we achieve here is usually desperation.
How does this work itself out from the "other woman's" perspective? Usually when a seed was planted that there could be some attraction, we run hard towards that attention. Getting that attention requires us to over-sexualize ourselves. Even if we had any respect for our body as the Lord's before, for this new addiction, we will trade it. We don't trust glorifying the Lord can fulfill us like this fling can. The thing that keeps me selling my dignity is winning this man that was never mine.
We've already tapped into the fact that glorifying any mere human man, husband or not, will never give us value. But, let's expose this lie that tells us "selling" our body will do the trick. We live in a culture that tells us to "flaunt it if you got it" and don't hear me being judgy; I lived that mantra embarrassingly far too long. Finally, the Lord convicted my heart so loudly that I idolized the attention I got from my immodesty. Whether we are working to reconcile our marriage or walk away from an affair, we must be willing to hand this over to the Lord. Don't get me wrong, we can still be beautiful and fashionable in our modesty...we just must examine our motives and be honest with ourselves.
Dressing more sexy will not win your husband back...not the version of him that you want anyway. Being a sex object to a married man isn't going to end in your fairytale love story...the baggage is real in both situations and it requires a Savior's healing...not a skimpier skirt. Trust me, I would know.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
Galatians 5:16-17
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